Wow! I can't believe that it has been 8 months since my last post! I always considered this a slow blog, but that is really slow! There are some reasons for this. 1. I've been busy with my daughter who is extremely active. 2. I've been trying to keep up with the chores while organizing/purging the junk in my basement. 3. I've been focusing on other noteworthy goals (or resolutions).
Too many times, people create New Year's Resolutions that are too close-ended (I want to drop 20 pounds), or too open-ended (I want to be thin), or unattainable (I want to be as thin as the Victoria's Secret Angels). This leads them to be unhappy when they fall short of the goal or even if they reached the goal (they lost 3 inches off their waist and went down 2 sizes, but the muscles they gained in the process added weight, so they never achieved losing 20 lbs). If someone doesn't know what their goal loos like, they won't know when they achieve it. They will get frustrated and give up. That's why I think of resolutions as goals that I want to focus on this year. I revise the goals list when my goals change and something needs to be added or erased).
I've created some beautiful goals, along with some ideas of what that goal looks like underneath them. Last year I only had three focus areas, but leaving time for writing wasn't one of them. Since writing is therapeutic for me (or at least just gives me some "me time" during the day), I am adding it to my list as well. So, it looks like this year I have six goals I want to focus on this year:
1. Be Healthy (plan & cook healthy meals, exercise 3-6x a week, take yoga class, complete Presidential Challenge...)
2. Be Organized (find places for everything we want to keep, sort boxes in basement, update & prioritize house projects & actually do them, prep before we need to leave the house...)
3. Strengthen Marriage (weekly plan every week, date night 1-2x a month, do something fun together at least once a week, do the exercises in the couples communication skills books...)
4. Strengthen Parenting Skills (stay calm during tantrums, take Love & Logic class & continue to utilize its strategies, pick my battles, but be more strict about bedtime and nap time...)
5. Control our Finances (revise budget, prioritize spending, track receipts, research areas to make spending cuts...)
6. Schedule Me Time Daily (this includes anything fun like yoga, writing, reading, video games & is not typically a To Do item...)
My husband saw my list and told me that he wanted to adopt my goals/resolutions too. Having the same goals and supporting each other throughout the year means we are more likely to see improvements. Wish us luck and good luck writing your own New Year's Goals!
Jan 27, 2011
May 5, 2010
The Psychology Behind Organization
In our lives, we go through many different transitions. I think I resist these natural transitions, even as I welcome them. Sometimes I feel like I am rebelling against or ignoring these changes in my life. However, most of the time, I don’t notice this attitude in myself. When I started organizing again, I found many items that proved that I silently protest the transitions in my life- and it might be the reason why I hold onto excess “stuff”. Are the teaching materials still in the study to remind myself that I had a life before I had a baby? Are there still infant products in my daughter’s room because I am protesting that she is growing up so fast? Or perhaps I am protesting the miscarriage I suffered… mourning the loss of the baby that will never come. I also have clothes in the closet that don’t fit me anymore. I originally thought seeing those clothes everyday was a positive- these are the clothes that I will fit into when I lose weight. But now I see it as a negative—these are the clothes I am too big to fit into. Am I protesting the weight that I gained?
My grandma died of cancer years ago. Scattered throughout my house I have mementos from her- cards she sent me, gifts she gave me. Some of these things mean nothing to me, other than the fact that they were gifts from her. Still I cling to these items as if I am trying to prove that she existed.
My mother is also a teacher and coach. She’s a good mother and a wonderful teacher (and grandma). She gave exhaustive amounts of time to her students through the years. As I grew up, she tried very hard not to baby me or give me too much “special attention” as she had many students to take care of. She was also a fan of the whole “don’t make waves” quote. She loved me and took care of my needs, but there was something lacking. Maybe it was empathy- she cared more about what the neighbors thought than what I thought. Instead of validating my feelings, she played Devil’s Advocate every time you told her something unfair, no matter how ridiculous it was. It did wonders for my self esteem for my mother to be harsh about my behavior, but to easily excuse other people’s behavior. All I wanted was for my mother to acknowledge my feelings, to understand me, to tell me she was proud of me. We had a strange relationship. We got along best when I didn’t tell her anything too personal. When I graduated from high school, when I was in college, and even after I graduated and was married… my mom finally felt compelled to tell me how she felt about me. At least in her own way- she bought me numerous mushy “Daughter” quote books, children’s books about mothers who love their children, wall decorations about how important I am to her. The excess of receiving all of it within 10 years seems insincere, yet I kept them. But these items are not the same as hearing it from her, so I can let go now.
As I learn to let go, organizing is getting easier- is that the secret of organizing? When I get rid of the excess stuff, I am making peace with the past and I am accepting the present so I can be more realistic about the future.
My grandma died of cancer years ago. Scattered throughout my house I have mementos from her- cards she sent me, gifts she gave me. Some of these things mean nothing to me, other than the fact that they were gifts from her. Still I cling to these items as if I am trying to prove that she existed.
My mother is also a teacher and coach. She’s a good mother and a wonderful teacher (and grandma). She gave exhaustive amounts of time to her students through the years. As I grew up, she tried very hard not to baby me or give me too much “special attention” as she had many students to take care of. She was also a fan of the whole “don’t make waves” quote. She loved me and took care of my needs, but there was something lacking. Maybe it was empathy- she cared more about what the neighbors thought than what I thought. Instead of validating my feelings, she played Devil’s Advocate every time you told her something unfair, no matter how ridiculous it was. It did wonders for my self esteem for my mother to be harsh about my behavior, but to easily excuse other people’s behavior. All I wanted was for my mother to acknowledge my feelings, to understand me, to tell me she was proud of me. We had a strange relationship. We got along best when I didn’t tell her anything too personal. When I graduated from high school, when I was in college, and even after I graduated and was married… my mom finally felt compelled to tell me how she felt about me. At least in her own way- she bought me numerous mushy “Daughter” quote books, children’s books about mothers who love their children, wall decorations about how important I am to her. The excess of receiving all of it within 10 years seems insincere, yet I kept them. But these items are not the same as hearing it from her, so I can let go now.
As I learn to let go, organizing is getting easier- is that the secret of organizing? When I get rid of the excess stuff, I am making peace with the past and I am accepting the present so I can be more realistic about the future.
Broasted Chicken
My husband and I recently learned what the word "broast" means. The spell checker doesn’t even recognize the word, so I guess we’re not the only ones (it keeps wanting to replace the word with roast, boast, or breast!) Anyway, we were out with friends at a restaurant I never went to before. I wasn't sure what I wanted, so I ordered the broasted chicken. We all figured that it was a form of roasting the chicken since it is close to that word (or a cross between broiling and roasting). Nobody at my table knew that broasting chicken meant deep-fat frying until that surprising moment when the most fried chicken I’ve ever seen appeared at our table. I haven't eaten fried chicken for years, but the waitress disappeared and I was hungry. It didn’t even taste like chicken- it just tasted like grease and my body doesn't handle fried foods well either. The waitress seemed surprised that I didn’t know that the chicken was fried- worse than fried. She explained that the chicken was fried, breaded and then deep-fried. Shouldn’t a restaurant specifically write on the menu that an entrée is deep-fried? Definition of deep-fry: Cook in hot fat that’s deep enough to float the food. (Yuck!)
Don’t get me wrong. I know several ways of cooking chicken besides frying/deep frying/ deep fat frying, such as: bake, boil, broil, roast/oven roast, sauté, stir fry, poach, steam, simmer, grill, and microwave. I have a cookbook at home with a glossary of cooking terms that also include: sear, panfry, and stew. Broast was not in this glossary. None of my cookbooks have the word broast in them and it's not in my old Webster’s Dictionary either.
So, I googled it. It turns out that "broast" is not a real word. It's a product (like using the word Kleenex instead of tissue). Broasting a chicken means using a product called a broaster to pressure cook and deep fry chicken that has been marinated and breaded. The broaster and the seasonings are only sold to restaurants, supermarkets, and other "food trade", so broasted chicken is only available to you when you dine out. So why would a waitress expect all her diners to know what the process of broasting is? The most interesting part of this story is that the restaurant incorrectly used the word "broasting" in the first place. While researching what broasting means, I found a list of all the places that use broasters on the official broaster.com website. I noticed that the restaurant wasn’t listed there. Since broasting chicken means you are actually using a broaster (and they aren't), then they aren't actually broasting the chicken. They are just breading and deep frying it. So, it looks like the restaurant doesn't know what broasting is either.
Don’t get me wrong. I know several ways of cooking chicken besides frying/deep frying/ deep fat frying, such as: bake, boil, broil, roast/oven roast, sauté, stir fry, poach, steam, simmer, grill, and microwave. I have a cookbook at home with a glossary of cooking terms that also include: sear, panfry, and stew. Broast was not in this glossary. None of my cookbooks have the word broast in them and it's not in my old Webster’s Dictionary either.
So, I googled it. It turns out that "broast" is not a real word. It's a product (like using the word Kleenex instead of tissue). Broasting a chicken means using a product called a broaster to pressure cook and deep fry chicken that has been marinated and breaded. The broaster and the seasonings are only sold to restaurants, supermarkets, and other "food trade", so broasted chicken is only available to you when you dine out. So why would a waitress expect all her diners to know what the process of broasting is? The most interesting part of this story is that the restaurant incorrectly used the word "broasting" in the first place. While researching what broasting means, I found a list of all the places that use broasters on the official broaster.com website. I noticed that the restaurant wasn’t listed there. Since broasting chicken means you are actually using a broaster (and they aren't), then they aren't actually broasting the chicken. They are just breading and deep frying it. So, it looks like the restaurant doesn't know what broasting is either.
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